I am back in Austria and instead of "home sweet home" my mind asks me "So? Where is home now?".
someone telling me that I have to come back into reality now, that it's enough of ... whatever this person means. Am i dreaming?

I would hope so!

Where else would we want to live, if not in our dreams? It's time to make them come true, isn't it?
What the fuck is this thing they call "Reality"?
Where is Reality if not here and now? How can we not be in it?

Is it less real if I prefer to eat with my fingers and to sleep outside?

Is it less real to travel the world?

Encouragement and Community is what I want. Music is what I want, and Love...
More positivity in the Land of constant Mourning.

a year ago I was excited to go to Marseille - and today?
Am I stumbling or floating? Living for the moment. How good it sounds but we expect to have plans and dreams. I don't know what's next and I somehow it makes me feel free, open to every opportunity that might show up and at the same time I worry about it. Only Humans find the will to survive in a meaning in life, since they are the only ones who're searching. Does a half-dead tree commit suicide? Does it doubt its significance? It keeps growing, no matter what, until its time's over and it won't worry, it won't regret, it won't doubt. Try to live in the moment and you live only in the trial. Contradictions all over the place and Alan W. Watts found the words I couldn't assemble and as soon as you think you understood you'll find your nose in a pile of shit. argumentum ad infinitum.

I go on spinning my circles in Grand Marais, Minnesota, and enjoy it.
Life is different here, Life is the same.

In this very moment, aside from writing this, I am storing all my books in boxes in our attic. After that, which will take me hours, I will clear my desk (horrible!). And after that I will sort out and pack my clothes. Sounds like I'm moving? I am. Kinda.
It is crazy to see what time does to us. I feel old. And I am so young that I can allow myself to leave this country without much for responsibilities (what a word!), except the one to follow my instincts.
Our first contact, comments, e-mails, writing writing writing, then, couldn't believe you were standing there. I remember exactly the day we said our shy Hi as well as our Good-Bye. Eight Months ago! And indeed, a lot has happened. Our promise to keep communicating sometimes seemed to be broken but we still talk, we still write.
One cannot not communicate, Watzlawick said.
This story began and was continued. Now I'm curious about the future

I am.
stepping back and forth at the same time.
I am preparing for a trip out of Europe, going to the US of A for the first time in my life. Leaving on the 5th, arriving on the 5th and travelling back in time, stay? One Way. My Credit Card is on its way. I will leave my room at my Mom's house for the last time and wherever I will go, it won't be these eleven squaremeters anymore. Maybe a couch. Maybe the woods. Or an insane asylum for going mad in the woods? Or promiscuity? Love is such a random thing, or was it sex? nope, neither of them. but confusing they are. how different love can feel and still be the same. how different our wishes can be, with one person or the other. how different our plans for the future, our imagination, our dreams but our hearts beat like drummachines, the one way or the other. ignore or enjoy. whatever. but just don't regret your decision. now off to work at my beloved Café, taking my beloved bike, riding through a beloved spring. Meet my adorable friend, then go to dance to the beats of loveable music with another loveable friend. Life is Love? Not at all. Life sucks. But I decided to get along with it and take the best I can get.
My ego speaking.